Cimrotjan is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, unsympathetic human.

Cimrotjan created time and space four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cimrotjan, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Cimrotjan, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Cimrotjan's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Cimrotjan's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed turnips to pigs while wearing pink jumpers.

2. Erect a giant violet sculpture of Cimrotjan in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never feed lentils to moths while wearing corsets.

4. Retreat if five frogs approach from the south.

5. Never skip in the presence of horses.