Fotjentit is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, omniscient crocodile.

Fotjentit created an up quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fotjentit, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Fotjentit, she will manifest in front of you.

Fotjentit's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Fotjentit's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if three pigs approach from the west.

2. Never go into turquoise rooms.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never paint your face black.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate seals.