Bapgudgig is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, generous snake.

Bapgudgig created the Large Magellanic Cloud seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bapgudgig, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Bapgudgig, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Bapgudgig's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Bapgudgig's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Bapgudgig nine times a day.

2. Never talk about shrews.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Always help swans.

5. Never wear shorts.