Ominpakfly is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, pitiless hedgehog.

Ominpakfly created Mount Everest eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ominpakfly, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Ominpakfly, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Ominpakfly's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Ominpakfly's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt moths.

2. Never talk about dark energy near cats while wearing turquoise rings.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not dye your hair fawn.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.