Carpangboss is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, loving centipede.

Carpangboss created a quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Carpangboss, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Carpangboss, it will turn you into a rock.

Carpangboss' most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Carpangboss' Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Carpangboss.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate goats.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Always help sick bats.