Zedstangep is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, fast pig.

Zedstangep created parasitic wasps three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zedstangep, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Zedstangep, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Zedstangep's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Zedstangep's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear kilts.

2. Do not drink water in white rooms.

3. Never feed lots of peanuts to grasshopers while wearing indigo dresses.

4. Always wear cyan.

5. Zedstangep loves ants, so they must be honoured.