Metmonpak is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, ruthless mouse.

Metmonpak created water three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Metmonpak, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Metmonpak, he will cry a lot.

Metmonpak's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Metmonpak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Porpoises are not to be trusted.

3. Always make sure there are no ducks in a room before entering it.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.