Batlitjat Tarpcidcet is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, boastful dingo.

Batlitjat Tarpcidcet created Asia four years ago.

If you believe in Batlitjat Tarpcidcet, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Batlitjat Tarpcidcet, she will curse you with boils.

Batlitjat Tarpcidcet's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Batlitjat Tarpcidcet's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dogs.

2. Never think about stars.

3. Run away if eight tortoises approach from the east.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.