Somtoffumflab is a god.

It takes the form of a large, staggering walrus.

Somtoffumflab created energy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Somtoffumflab, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Somtoffumflab, it will jump up and down on your head.

Somtoffumflab's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Somtoffumflab's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if nine frogs approach from the east.

2. Do not kill grasshopers.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

4. Do not trade with those who eat wheat.

5. Never talk about goats.