Gepjapgum is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, omniscient whale.

Gepjapgum created the world twelve years ago.

If you believe in Gepjapgum, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Gepjapgum, she will refuse to believe in you.

Gepjapgum's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Gepjapgum's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate goats.

2. Never jump in holy places.

3. Fast once a month.

4. You must never eat oranges.

5. Never look in ponds.