Yartfencub is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, impressive goat.

Yartfencub created time and space five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yartfencub, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Yartfencub, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Yartfencub's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Yartfencub's Holy Commandments

1. Always help mites in need.

2. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

4. Never mention sheep.

5. Never think about thermodynamics near gulls while wearing yellow shorts and balancing four aluminium spheres on your chest.