Gabnelljan Tomlakyar is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, boastful elephant.

Gabnelljan Tomlakyar created life three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gabnelljan Tomlakyar, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gabnelljan Tomlakyar, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Gabnelljan Tomlakyar's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Gabnelljan Tomlakyar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Do not utter prayers while touching silicon.

4. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Always act with obedience.