Kemtadhudratdin is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, self-assured porpoise.

Kemtadhudratdin created life six billion years ago.

If you believe in Kemtadhudratdin, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Kemtadhudratdin, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Kemtadhudratdin's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Kemtadhudratdin's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat corn.

2. Always look after injured rats.

3. Never wear dresses.

4. Never paint your head pink.

5. Feed all hungry dogs.