Kanlipbit is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, flying gorilla.

Kanlipbit created an electron nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kanlipbit, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Kanlipbit, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Kanlipbit's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Kanlipbit's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured tapirs.

2. Never hurt dolphins.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never play with disobedient children.