Lappad is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, omnipotent ferret.

Lappad created the planet Venus eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Lappad, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Lappad, she will send minions to preach to you.

Lappad's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Lappad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair violet.

2. Always make sure there are no dolphins in a room before entering it.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.