Jenmilcit is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, kind swan.

Jenmilcit created the universe nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jenmilcit, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Jenmilcit, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Jenmilcit's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Jenmilcit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair white.

2. Always look after injured aardvarks.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never talk about seals.

5. Feed all hungry ants.