Lagmobbet is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, bad-tempered coyote.

Lagmobbet created carbon five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lagmobbet, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Lagmobbet, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Lagmobbet's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Lagmobbet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat tomatoes.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never talk about thermodynamics near bats while wearing brown stockings.

5. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.