Pithimsaw is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, bad-tempered lizard.

Pithimsaw created a photon four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pithimsaw, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Pithimsaw, she will turn you into a snail.

Pithimsaw's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Pithimsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Ants are not to be trusted.

2. Never look at planets.

3. Great tits are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Always treat eagles with great respect.

5. Never talk about sharks.