Dagzimqueeg is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, duplicitous wolf.

Dagzimqueeg created life eight million years ago.

If you believe in Dagzimqueeg, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Dagzimqueeg, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Dagzimqueeg's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Dagzimqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

2. Never eat peanuts.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Always help birds in need.

5. Do not trade with those who eat wheat.