Dogsafmonhen is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, merciful swallow.

Dogsafmonhen created the solar system four billion years ago.

If you believe in Dogsafmonhen, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Dogsafmonhen, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Dogsafmonhen's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Dogsafmonhen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cell theory.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never think about archaea.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never feed nuts to gulls while wearing trousers.