Cibjigpid Tinkemrill is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, egotistical seal.

Cibjigpid Tinkemrill created the Black Eye Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Cibjigpid Tinkemrill, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Cibjigpid Tinkemrill, it will try to impress you with trees.

Cibjigpid Tinkemrill's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Cibjigpid Tinkemrill's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt birds.

2. Always help sick rats.

3. Never wear dresses.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cibjigpid Tinkemrill.

5. Always look after injured whales.