Nuttgessdosszigyikcudgam is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, clever bat.

Nuttgessdosszigyikcudgam created the Large Magellanic Cloud twelve years ago.

If you believe in Nuttgessdosszigyikcudgam, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Nuttgessdosszigyikcudgam, she will turn you into a puffin.

Nuttgessdosszigyikcudgam's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Nuttgessdosszigyikcudgam's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never run near eagles.

3. Always help aardvarks in need.

4. Never hurt swans.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Nuttgessdosszigyikcudgam.