Vinfumtetti is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, benevolent scorpion.

Vinfumtetti created the Large Magellanic Cloud three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vinfumtetti, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Vinfumtetti, she will turn you into a mole.

Vinfumtetti's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Vinfumtetti's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about stars.

2. Do not hurt great tits.

3. Never think about special relativity near aardvarks while wearing blue coats and balancing four carbon spheres on your arms.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Always wear green.