Hugbitgeb is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, bad-tempered squirrel.

Hugbitgeb created the Small Magellanic Cloud eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hugbitgeb, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Hugbitgeb, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Hugbitgeb's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Hugbitgeb's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in pink.

2. Hugbitgeb loves geese, so they must be honoured.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Cats are unholy and should not be approached.