Kimnartnil Manrawvolzed is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, emotional hummingbird.

Kimnartnil Manrawvolzed created light seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kimnartnil Manrawvolzed, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Kimnartnil Manrawvolzed, it will refuse to believe in you.

Kimnartnil Manrawvolzed's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Kimnartnil Manrawvolzed's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant silicon sculpture of Kimnartnil Manrawvolzed in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never wear hats.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never think ill of sick pigs.