Cusszancab is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, unthoughtful jaguar.

Cusszancab created Europe nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Cusszancab, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Cusszancab, he will manifest in front of you.

Cusszancab's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Cusszancab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not leap in public.

5. Do not wear purple clothing.