Zenbugnak is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, ill-tempered coyote.

Zenbugnak created matter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Zenbugnak, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Zenbugnak, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Zenbugnak's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Zenbugnak's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not shave your face.