Nutzakfas Milvabfet is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, egotistical monkey.

Nutzakfas Milvabfet created a quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nutzakfas Milvabfet, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Nutzakfas Milvabfet, it will laugh at you.

Nutzakfas Milvabfet's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Nutzakfas Milvabfet's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Nutzakfas Milvabfet.

2. Never run near ducks.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never wear rings.