Jatkinmum is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, competent mongoose.

Jatkinmum created water six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jatkinmum, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Jatkinmum, she will jump up and down on your head.

Jatkinmum's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Jatkinmum's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate geese.

4. Retreat if eight foxes approach from the north.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.