Straglammigtom is a god.

He takes the form of a large, witty lobster.

Straglammigtom created the Andromeda Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Straglammigtom, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Straglammigtom, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Straglammigtom's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Straglammigtom's Holy Commandments

1. Learn four new languages a year.

2. Never look at nebulae.

3. Erect a giant magenta sculpture of Straglammigtom in the centre of the settlement.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Always help sick tapirs.