Jigpigjan is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, ruthless skunk.

Jigpigjan created an up quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Jigpigjan, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Jigpigjan, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Jigpigjan's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Jigpigjan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your arms.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate mites.

3. Always make sure there are no ants in a building before entering it.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Jigpigjan.