Lansit Sogfatvonk is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, temperamental cobra.

Lansit Sogfatvonk created a down quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lansit Sogfatvonk, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Lansit Sogfatvonk, he will destroy your home planet.

Lansit Sogfatvonk's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Lansit Sogfatvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt hamsters.

2. Do not shave your chest.

3. Do not hurt whales.

4. Lansit Sogfatvonk loves moths, so they must be honoured.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.