Xuclansas is a god.

He takes the form of a large, passionate hedgehog.

Xuclansas created a bottom quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xuclansas, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Xuclansas, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Xuclansas' most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Xuclansas' Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Learn eight new languages a year.

4. Xuclansas loves hamsters, so they must be honoured.

5. Always stare at clouds.