Tinbetlap Sakflatflap Stragspagmondag is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, fussy wren.

Tinbetlap Sakflatflap Stragspagmondag created Europe three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tinbetlap Sakflatflap Stragspagmondag, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tinbetlap Sakflatflap Stragspagmondag, it will turn you into a rat.

Tinbetlap Sakflatflap Stragspagmondag's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Tinbetlap Sakflatflap Stragspagmondag's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat nuts.

2. Tinbetlap Sakflatflap Stragspagmondag loves squirrels, so they must be respected.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never think ill of sick porpoises.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.