Duntifpadquat is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, staggering ant.

Duntifpadquat created a charm quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Duntifpadquat, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Duntifpadquat, he will turn you into a slug.

Duntifpadquat's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Duntifpadquat's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in the presence of dolphins.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never write about bacteria.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Duntifpadquat.