Sismigved Cidyakhom is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, compassionate crab.

Sismigved Cidyakhom created a top quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Sismigved Cidyakhom, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Sismigved Cidyakhom, it will manifest in front of you.

Sismigved Cidyakhom's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Sismigved Cidyakhom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate dolphins.

3. Never look at planets.

4. Hide if four squirrels approach from the east.

5. Do not eat corn.