Tinfligartfon is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, unjust dolphin.

Tinfligartfon created a photon nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tinfligartfon, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tinfligartfon, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Tinfligartfon's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Tinfligartfon's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Tinfligartfon.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.