Kadyattfum is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, able fairy.

Kadyattfum created Europe nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Kadyattfum, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Kadyattfum, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Kadyattfum's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Kadyattfum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never hop in the presence of mice.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Always pray immersed in water.