Hasgatgab is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, generous fairy.

Hasgatgab created the planet Venus three billion years ago.

If you believe in Hasgatgab, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Hasgatgab, she will turn you into a worm.

Hasgatgab's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Hasgatgab's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Erect four zinc sculptures of Hasgatgab on top of important buildings.

4. Do not take Hasgatgab's name in vain.

5. Never talk about sharks.