Sandcunflat Rippakkar is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, all-powerful crane.

Sandcunflat Rippakkar created viruses four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sandcunflat Rippakkar, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Sandcunflat Rippakkar, she will destroy your home planet.

Sandcunflat Rippakkar's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Sandcunflat Rippakkar's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about comets.

2. Never talk about fluid mechanics near foxes while wearing indigo tights.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not shave your neck.

5. Never talk about grasshopers.