Somnartstig is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, calm cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Somnartstig created a top quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Somnartstig, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Somnartstig, she will think nothing of it.

Somnartstig's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Somnartstig's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. You must never eat aubergines.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Do not take Somnartstig's name in vain.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.