Mumtonkflag is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, sage tortoise.

Mumtonkflag created vertebrates three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mumtonkflag, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Mumtonkflag, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Mumtonkflag's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Mumtonkflag's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Mumtonkflag on top of all buildings.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never run in the presence of hamsters.

4. Worship no other gods but Mumtonkflag.

5. Hide if five ants approach from the east.