Aflatgum is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, pitiless pig.

Aflatgum created snails eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Aflatgum, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Aflatgum, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Aflatgum's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Aflatgum's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about nucleic acids.

2. Never sing in the presence of tortoises.

3. Retreat if seven great tits approach from the east.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not wear turquoise clothing.