Cibtigwat is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, stupid wombat.

Cibtigwat created a top quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Cibtigwat, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Cibtigwat, he will turn you into a puffin.

Cibtigwat's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Cibtigwat's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in holy places.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not take Cibtigwat's name in vain.

5. You must love Cibtigwat.