Lidzedcub is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, stupid goat.

Lidzedcub created dark energy six million years ago.

If you believe in Lidzedcub, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Lidzedcub, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Lidzedcub's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Lidzedcub's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if five horses approach from the west.

2. You must never eat lemons.

3. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.

4. Never feed pineapples to sheep while wearing orange stockings.

5. Do not commit murder.