Gudjatcam is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, strong aardvark.

Gudjatcam created the Milkyway seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gudjatcam, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gudjatcam, she will turn you into a snail.

Gudjatcam's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Gudjatcam's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured aardvarks.

2. Never talk about swans.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Always wear violet.