Jabsomlit is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, unthoughtful coyote.

Jabsomlit created everything that exists nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jabsomlit, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Jabsomlit, it will laugh at you.

Jabsomlit's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Jabsomlit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never laugh in the presence of grasshopers.