Ganbidlan is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, witty rhinoceros.

Ganbidlan created the Sun three billion years ago.

If you believe in Ganbidlan, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ganbidlan, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Ganbidlan's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Ganbidlan's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your arms red.

2. Retreat if four capybaras approach from the north.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force near cats while wearing turquoise shoes and balancing five iron spheres on your head.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.