Spagjigteen is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, duplicitous deer.

Spagjigteen created oxygen three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Spagjigteen, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Spagjigteen, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Spagjigteen's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Spagjigteen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat lemons.

2. Never think about dwarf planets.

3. Never talk about fluid mechanics near snakes while wearing fawn scarves.

4. Always help seals in need.

5. Do not kill shrews.