Nullwapflan is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, self-assured tapir.

Nullwapflan created the solar system seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nullwapflan, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Nullwapflan, it will turn you into a dog.

Nullwapflan's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Nullwapflan's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Nullwapflan.

2. Never talk about special relativity near badgers while wearing turquoise tights and balancing four silver spheres on your neck.

3. Never go into green rooms.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never write about cell theory.